Ladies and Gentlemen, As soon as you recognize our Mystery Man of the Year, our recipient of the coveted "Lifetime Achievement Award," please stand and place you hand over your organ of choice. And now our first clue:

Number 6: Least likely to be a member of the Ann Coulter Fan Club.

Clue number 5: Least likely to ask Santa Claus for after shave lotion.

Clue number 4: Prefers UCTV reruns to fair and balanced news.

Clue number 3: Never did anything twice for fear he would have to do it forever.

Clue number 2: Applies UCTV directly to his forehead.

Clue number 1: Insisted that his successor also have two first names.

Now that you are all standing, please give a warm DETCHE welcome to Sherman George, recipient of our "Lifetime Achievement Award."